Soon Enough
by Kansas J. Miller
Summary: It was far, far too often that he found himself touching his wedding band and trying to keep himself in check. [CJ-Toby]


FICLET: Soon Enough AUTHOR: Kansas J. Miller_________________________________________________  
  
RATING: PG PAIRING: CJ/Toby-ish SUMMARY: It was far, far too often that he found himself touching his wedding band and trying to keep himself in check.  
  
SPOILERS: Campaign-fic, so just vague pieces of common knowledge  
  
NOTE: Oh, for Angie.  
  
~*~  
CJ slammed the motel room door so hard that the cheap lampshades inside the room shook from the jolt, and as she flung herself onto the creaky, aging bed, Toby was slightly afraid that before the night was over, CJ would destroy not only the motel room, but him, as well.  
  
"Why did you bring me here!?" CJ moaned into the pillow. "Why, Toby, why?" she cried with exasperation, picking her head up for a fraction of a second to stare desperately at the bearded man standing silently before the bed.  
  
Toby shook his head and sat down gingerly on the end of the mattress. "CJ, look-"  
  
CJ sat up, suddenly, violently, as if she wanted to throw something. But she had nothing to throw; her hands were empty, so instead they gestured wildly at nothing, indicating her frustration. "No, Toby! You look! This is ridiculous! I don't even remotely fit in here! I haven't clicked in the slightest sense with anyone on this campaign. Josh Lyman thinks I'm an idiot, Sam Seaborn is like, afraid of me or something, Mandy Hampton hates me, Leo McGarry is beginning to regret ever hiring me, and the Governor doesn't even know my name!"  
  
"The Governor doesn't know *anybody's* name!" Toby cried with equal volume in his voice, holding his hands out at his own version of frustration: her. "CJ, what did you expect? This is big-league politics and you're nobody from nowhere to these people. But I asked them to trust you, and eventually they will. As far as liking you, that's out of my hands, but - " and he grinned at this and softened his tone, unable to suppress his affection for her - "I think they'll come to see it my way, on that one, too."  
  
CJ sat up and tucked her endless legs under her body, Indian-style. She pushed the curly, unruly hair out of her face as she eyed Toby. He could practically see the wheels turning in her mind; he could nearly hear her voice and what it would sound like when she finally spoke. She'd shoot back with something witty and spicy, something to put him in his place once and for all. Toby figured that soon this conversation would be over, and he'd go back to the meeting without her. No one would wonder where CJ had gone to, and no one would really care, not yet. It was too early in the game, and there was too much distracting everyone, and as Toby traced the lines of CJ's face with his eyes, he wished he could make her see how beautiful, how unique she really was.  
  
"Toby, why did you bring me here?"  
  
He was caught off-guard by the soft tone she'd taken, and her eyes, filled up with a mix of attitude and anxiety, put that funny but unmistakable feeling in the pit of Toby's stomach. Standing up, he paced over to the window and tried to ignore the overwhelming urge he had to put his lips to hers and fix everything without a word. New Hampshire in December was cold and gray, but the wintry images outside did nothing to erase the heat that she could make burn inside of him. All she had to do was show him her vulnerability, her secrets, her soul. He felt like it was reserved for him, that look there on her face, that look that asked him to understand. It was far, far too often that he found himself touching his wedding band and trying to keep himself in check.  
  
"Toby, I'm really asking you," CJ said quietly from her spot on the sagging bed. "Why did you-"  
  
He spun around quickly, sharply, suddenly. Their gazes met and clung, unspoken reasons hidden behind the changing colors of their eyes. "Because! I just did! Okay? I brought you here, and now you're here. So would you just, please..."  
  
CJ's lips curled up into a half smile, and she shook her head, tired hysteria coming out in the form of a deep-throated chuckle. Toby felt himself warm at the sound of her laughter; he found himself wishing for things he could never have, for things he never had a chance to have and never would. CJ sighed away the remains of her laughter, the sharp exhalation of breath cutting into Toby's wandering thoughts. "Oh, man, Toby. I sure hope you know what you're doing."  
  
With that, she found her footing on the cheap motel carpet and Toby watched CJ's height grow another inch as she slipped into the clogs she'd abandoned in her earlier fit of temper. Her body was all lines and angles, smooth but sharp, just like her personality and her moods; Toby took a deep breath and followed CJ to the door. They would go back to the War Room now, back to the strategy meeting. No one would say anything about their sudden need to leave, and no one would comment when they sat down again. Maybe everyone thought they were having an affair - Toby had to chuckle to himself at the thought of it, and as he followed CJ silently down the hallway towards the Governor's suite of rooms, Toby wished he'd told her the real reason for why he'd brought her here.  
  
"CJ."  
  
She turned her head to him but kept walking. "Yeah?" He hesitated just a second longer than he should have, and her brow rose as she stopped in the middle of the empty motel hallway. "Toby, what?"  
  
Toby stopped walking, too, his eyes darkening. She was just standing there, empty-handed and feeling lonely, more beautiful than any woman he'd ever seen, more beautiful than his wife, and more captivating, too. If there was ever a time when he'd wanted to drag her back to a bed, any bed, and let everything happen like in his dreams, it was now. "CJ, I.."  
  
She stepped closer to him, confused. "What's wrong?"  
  
And the words escaped him then, if he'd ever had them to begin with, so with a quick shake of his head, Toby gestured down the hall. "Never mind," he mumbled, moving her with him as he began to walk again. "Let's just get back to the meeting. They'll start to like you soon enough, 'kay?"  
  
CJ glanced back at Toby as he opened the door, stopping to let her pass through first. Inside, the meeting was still in full swing, Josh, Sam, Leo, Mandy, and the Governor sitting amidst a sea of computer printouts, newspapers, and strategy books. Their chatter paused for merely a moment as CJ and Toby re-entered the room, and as they took seats on opposite sides of the room, everything continued as it was. CJ opened her notebook to the place where she'd stopped taking notes half an hour ago, and Toby tried to concentrate on what Leo was saying. But all he could focus on were her lips, pursed and full as she scribbled down things to tell the press, and all he could feel was guilty.  
  
"Why did you bring me here?" He was going to hear her voice in his head all damn night now, sad and confused, even a little angry, but mostly just unsure of herself, of the campaign, of everyone else.. Damn-it, he cursed himself, why did it have to be this way?  
  
Toby glanced over at Leo, and he remembered the conversation they'd had months ago when the subject of a press secretary came up. Trust me, she's perfect, he had insisted. You'll love her. She's the best one for this job. And Leo had agreed to give it a go, but Leo hadn't really known that Toby's motives for bringing his old friend CJ to New Hampshire - and back into his life - were anything but professional. And he'd been trying to convince himself otherwise for the last two months, but it wasn't easy when no one else seemed to see in CJ what Toby saw. He just kept telling himself that they'd get to like her soon enough, soon enough. And the meeting continued on, CJ scribbling while Leo spoke, and Toby staring at nothing but her lips as she concentrated on writing down things to tell the press. * 


End file.
